Under Pressure
Harnessing a Natural Force
In my aquifer-based mythological system, we are, at the moment, at the Crone Depths level of winter, just above the last layer, the bedrock layer. Based on my aquifer seasonal system, winter is entirely subsurface, unlike seasons like early or late summer, which have several layers of surface, where things like peaks and trees might pull us above ground to consider how these parts of nature interact with the subsurface. When in winter, my attention is all underground.
This is the deepest point of the aquifer that I travel in my imagination. This seasonal focus on the deep underground will be followed shortly by the change of focus for Spring, when we will be squirted from the deep levels of the aquifer up to the surface of our attention, and share our creative work. I am excited when I think about the benefits of this kind of pressure that allows me to manifest my creative activities. But I wanted to differentiate for myself the difference between the cultural pressures that we feel in January that are, as I imagine it, swirling above me, that I have chosen to stay beneath. These might be things like goals, or fresh starts, or making annual plans, or creating yearly summaries. All of these are about releasing pressure in order to make plans or draw vision boards or manifest accomplishments. And, even though it is the first week of January, I want to stay down here, down in the underground, in the subsurface for longer to soak up the yummy warmth of my creative furnace and wait until it is spring to burst out.
For this reason, I actually set my goals for my year back in November so that I could arrive in this season of internal reflection, of coziness, of unusual schedules, with my goals already in place and allow them to marinate with me while I was taking this rest. Because of the work that I did in late fall and early winter, I am now in a position of rest. But it is different rest than resting on my back, with my arms behind my head in a summer meadow. This is resting within a crystalline cavern. This is resting like a seed below the ground, full of potential. And this made me think about pressure.
I think of this deepest winter place as the pressure chamber. In the science of aquifers, this pressure chamber in the aquifer creates the hydraulic difference in the layers of rock that allows springs to burst forth with such surprise and vigor out of the rock. In Central Texas, the miles of limestone hills behind us here to the west gather rainwater over a vast area. The rain soaks the ground, but because the channels and layers of the limestone are the only portion that’s so porous as to accept the water, and the other rock pushes the water aside, all of that water is channeled down and down and essentially forced into a smaller area until it eventually reaches a place, miles away, where it can escape. So the water draining down from the enormous catchment area, the “recharge zone” as the signs remind us, is accumulated under increasing pressure.
When water in these porous layers of rock reaches the edge of the limestone hills, it might find a spot where there is a small fissure or channel that it can follow back up to the surface, such as the spring here in San Marcos. We are told historically that the pressure of this spring, after a significant rain event in the Hill Country had refilled the aquifer with a huge accumulation of water, was so intense that the geyser, coming up out of the spring could be seen for miles around. I like to imagine this geyser as a huge and beneficent Kama, a nature spirit, calling out to the thirsty and making this particular spring a place of gathering, and a significant landmark even in prehistoric times. The size of this spirit is related to the amount of pressure that builds up, itself an expression of the size of the recharge zone filling the aquifer. It’s the sheer colossus of the limestone that is behind us that creates the force for this spring. The more area that collects the water, the more the pressure builds. This pressure is a good thing.
I don’t think it is a coincidence that we call the season when we see the first signs of life after a winter soaks the ground with snow or rain “spring”. But in order to create pressure, the aquifer needs a recharge. The water has to actually back up and sink deep in order to build the force. We can’t have the spring flowing without the accumulation of the water, without the rest of winter. Your creativity can’t burst forth in a beautiful expression, such as the spring provides, without the accumulation of the winter rains. Without the time that it takes for your creative thoughts and ideas to percolate.
This is why I think that letting off the pressure by sharing all of your thoughts and ideas right now is NOT a good idea. Wait just a bit until your winter season is really over and you are ready for the explosive energy of spring. By letting everybody peek at what you’re doing, just because it’s January, and you’re feeling a different pressure, peer pressure, to share, you are just reducing the amount of creative “material” that there is in your recharge zone, you are letting off some of the pressure. So, it can seem like, when you’re letting your thoughts percolate, which percolation is such an aquifer word, that you are not doing anything, but in fact, you are allowing the creative recharge to build.
Saying, “I need to keep up the pressure of rest” sounds a bit silly, but in my personal life I know that pressure can be a good thing. Who doesn’t love the comforting pressure of a warm hug, a solid squeeze. That’s why we sell these weighted blankets, because they create this feeling of safety. I love swimming in the pool because the water instantly creates all-over body compression that supports the flow of the circulation of the lymph and the other fluids along the surface of my skin. We have discovered that these are incredibly important. So we may think when we say, “Oh, I’m under pressure”, or “There’s a great amount of pressure”, that this is a negative thing. And yet, because we admire grace under pressure, we know how tremendous the results of a bit of pressure can be. I really think it’s important to distinguish between this kind of helpful internal pressure that creates pumping and how we should allow this pressure to exist.
Feeling the deep pressure in the winter of all of these ideas, all of these thoughts, all of these hopes and dreams feels good. Knowing that I will not feel pressured to perform a whole bunch of resolutions and a post a whole bunch of goals and plans actually relieves stress. I already know what I’m gonna be doing for this spring. I’m allowing those to press against each other, and to refine. So, this time in the winter, this feeling of pressure isn’t something to escape, not yet. It’s necessary. Without this compression, there isn’t any force that could be pushing me to emerge. So, even though I can feel like, you know, “Oh, I haven’t done the goals section yet” or “I haven’t stated my plans but everybody else is busy sharing”, I can remind myself, I’m not stuck. I’m not trapped here underground with my thoughts. I’m allowing the pressure to build.
I want to wrap up this brief entry because I really am mostly trying to rest this time of year by explaining that it is a good time to, in fact, embrace the pause. The pause is just the pressure building, and this pressure is necessary. It’s natural, it’s supportive. I encourage you to trust your seasonal timing. I’ve done the thinking, that this timing works for me. Later, at the very end of January or in early February, is the time that I need to reveal and share. And even though it feels like nothing is happening at the moment, I know, as I look around me, at the fruits of my time, in this winter period of deep contemplation, that I can see, I will have so much to share. So, the spring, the spring will come, not the season, the actual force of water gushing from the ground, when I have built enough force, and I will build that force by staying deep, by allowing myself to stay deep, by not judging that my not sharing means I have nothing to share, instead judging that my not sharing is because I’m allowing what I want to share to be shaped by the pressure chamber.
Thank you for reading what emerges from my process.
Gwendolyn